This is the fourth installment of “Driving tips with Mike”. My hope in providing these driving tips and advanced driving techniques is that I can do my part to make the road a safer place. Please remember that these tips are provided by a professional driver…me. Knowing that my credibility may be challenged I designed myself a “professional driver” certificate in MS Word and signed it myself. If you would like I can send you a copy to validate my authority and experience on the topic.
Don’t bother honking - Recently, I had the pleasure of discussing driving techniques with a nice young gentleman at a stop light. I had honked at him because he cut me off without signaling. He courteously turned his rap music down, took a break from his joint and informed me in no uncertain terms that “using your horn like that gets fool’s asses kicked”. Good to know. This young man gave me a lesson in driving, grammar and syntax all in one go, and asked nothing in return. This is a lesson that I hope you will be willing to learn from me and save yourself the embarrassment. Don’t use your horn, a car’s horn is there simply for honking goodbye to friends at parties.
Roundabouts – Familiarize yourself with roundabout usage before attempting to enter one. Contrary to what their name may imply, roundabouts are meant to be exited at some point and are not intended for long-term use. If you have passed your point of entry into the roundabout more than twice, consider pulling over where safe and asking for directions. Also, remember to signal as you would at a stop sign, left is left, right is right. If you go around 7 times and then signal right to exit at the same spot you entered, you will cause confusion and frustration for other drivers.
Dogs – I like to bring my dog with me. Dogs need to get out of the house too. I would caution you however, to not let your dog ride on your lap while driving. Especially if you own a German Shepherd. It is unsafe and will impede your vision and access to driver controls in the cutest way possible. I also should touch on leaving your dog in the car in a parking lot. If your dog initiates conflict with somebody just because they walk by your car, any and all gestures, taunting and face-making through the glass are fair game. He did start it….
I hope these professional level driving tips will be of help to you as you step up your game in the driver’s seat.



Um, I request to see that professional driving certificate to verify the signature. Please post it. Otherwise how am I to know you are not just leading me astray with your insane logic?